Sunday, August 18, 2019 | ePaper

Ways to rebuild a relationship

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Weekend Plus Desk :
ay be, we all know how a relationship crumbles when one partner breaks the trust of the other because trust is that solid rock upon which the foundation of any relationship is laid. Those who have experienced it would surely know how difficult it might be to continue being in a relationship after that. But like everything in life, there is always something to learn from such a bitter experience. But the fundamental question for which everyone seeks an answer is-is it possible to rebuild a relationship when your parent breaks the trust? Well, nothing is impossible and there certainly are ways to make this happen as well.
Open conversation
After your partner accepts his or her mistakes, it’s the perfect time for an open conversation. Tell the person how the action hurt you and the pain you are going through. Paint a picture of the tormenting days and sleepless nights you have spent. And tell him or her everything. Also, make sure that the conversation does not end into a ‘blame game’ session. It should be an open conversation and both should speak up.
Forgive yourself and your partner
We know, this will be the most difficult thing to do but the act of forgiveness can be very liberating. It’s not only about forgiving your partner but helping your partner forgive himself. Also, forgiveness means acceptance-facing reality and accepting it in order to move forward. In case you are not willing to forgive, you would gradually build an impregnable wall between you and your partner, which would never let you move on.
Tell your partner what you need from a relationship
It is equally important for the guilty party to know your expectations from a healthy relationship. You should tell your partner how your trust was broken and what is required to rebuild the relationship. And when you tell him or her about your expectations, remember not to set the bar too high. For example, if infidelity was what broke the trust, you cannot set a rule that exempts your partner from interacting with people from the opposite sex. Such impractical expectations will only lead to further pain.
Talk to a close confidante about your partner’s betrayal
Sometimes, we need to talk to a third person. But make sure that the person is not partial to you or your partner, otherwise, he or she would not be able to listen to you without an unbiased attitude. The best would be to talk to a professional counselor because when we talk we gradually unburden the weight of betrayal from our heart. Also, you should not keep your feelings to yourself and by talking to a counselor you can let go of all the pent-up emotions.
Heal yourself to heal the relationship
Remember, it’s difficult to rebuild a relationship if you do not let go of the pain or the pent-up emotions. The more you hurt, the more difficult it would be for you to make a new beginning. So, in order to heal the relationship, it’s very important that you heal yourself first. Getting all your questions answered, not blaming yourself or your partner are certain things that can make this journey of healing a little easier.
Give it time
This is the most important fact-time. Time heals everything. Anything is possible provided it is given the right amount of time. For example, if you look at past instances of emotional pain, the intensity would be lesser in the present time than it was earlier. This is no different.
Be positive
The attitude of both parties matters the most when it comes to rebuilding a broken relationship. If both are in love and are willing to overcome the instance of infidelity or whatever was the reason behind the broken trust, nothing can stop them from getting there. They need to work together, let the past be past and promise each other to not repeat such mistakes again.

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