Monday, November 20, 2017 | ePaper

Root of depression

Always remain hidden

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Anika Humaira :
April 7 was the World Health Da. This year slogan of World Health Day was Depression. Let’s talk about the matter. Depressions cases are fast increasing in the country with over 7.4 million people have been suffering from the disorder.  
‘Abuse’ a discomforting word. Calling ‘abuse’ it comes first in our head is sexual abuse. Sexual abuse is destructive, but emotional abuse is a killer of soul. We often face Physical, Emotional or sexual violence at home-at our safe and comfort zone.
Children are more affected here by that weapon often remain behind our sight. Several study found that childhood abuse is highly related to low self esteem and that leads to depression. Actually, if we ask ourselves is our attachment and security system okay at home? Then why childhood depression is so high in cities? Why children are so irritated now a day?
V A case of sexual abuse. ‘X’ was 11 yrs old when she first been sexually harassed by her private tutor. Then at 12 years of age by her singing tutor, that she described as almost rape. Her life, emotion, socialization changed. Parents only noticed her behavioral change, anger. They were disturbed by their failure to control their child. Now a day’s children are so independent and arrogant -it was their objection. Emotional gaps between them arouse. Once she tried to tell her story, but considering honor they prefer to keep their daughter in more check. She was not been allowed to go anywhere, even with friends party without parents. Obviously parents couldn’t manage time. She became lonelier. One day worst thing happen in her life. She went to grand mom’s house to spend some days with cousins. But her own uncle sexually harassed her. She stopped everything. As she had past experiences, she even didn’t tell her mother because she will accuse her. When this parents came for help and their complains were- she has behavioral problems and she is unsocial.
V A case came with repetitive thought problem and depression. She was very conscious about her beauty. Parents were so disturbed for her that kind of fancy demands. They criticized her, punished her, reacted, but couldn’ t control her. They keep nagging in front of visitors at home. She often humiliated this way. She became crazy and also made isolated herself. Parents became more controlling and she became more arrogant. Once both of them loose their tolerance. They came for seeking help.
First thing to find out, why she is crazier about beautification? A number of stories she explained from childhood and cried all the time. She explained how she had been bullied in her childhood for being fat, how people put example of others in front of her to follow them. They discounted every choice of her and advised what to eat, what to wear, what to do. She was afraid to join in family gathering. She became ashamed. She drawn a negative picture of herself and she was very unhappy. Then she tried to change herself.
This kind of story is common in children who achieve low academic grade at school. Criticism kills confidence.
V A an adolescent came with anger problem. Anger is an impact of serious neglect or punishment. When he described his story, he just became furious. He was talking about his father how he beaten him in his childhood-as if he considered him as an animal. His parents were unhappy in conjugal life. They always made quarrel. When they stopped, if he went to ask for some food, he has been rebuked without any fault of him.
This way beating, punishing, neglecting became his part of life. When he became little older, he decided that he will not tolerate anymore. He also became defensive.
All negative emotions of adults don’t come of it own. So, only cutting the edge may not be the solution. They need to deal from the root because that remains hidden. There is a big responsibility goes to family members. Secure and loving attachment can prevent depression as well as ill effects.

(Anika Humaira, Counselor, Clinical Psychology Department, United Hospital Ltd)

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